


happy couple(s)

by fantasticfours



Series: Dialogue Prompts [3]
Category: Batman (Comics), Batman - All Media Types, Red Hood and the Outlaws (Comics)
Genre: Accidental Marriage, Gen, M/M, Multi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-01
Updated: 2017-12-01
Packaged: 2019-02-08 23:19:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 908
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12875184
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fantasticfours/pseuds/fantasticfours
Summary: Prompt: "Please don't tell me you got arrested again."It all started because Kori wanted to get drunk.





	happy couple(s)

Bruce was in the middle of a board meeting with WE when he gets the call.

He apologised and laughed to the other board members, who roll their eyes and let him pick it up.

He sighed when he sees who’s calling him. _Jason_.

“Hello?” he said cheerily as he picks up.

_“Um… Hey, Bruce…”_

Instantly, he was on edge. What had his son done _this_ time?

“Please don’t tell me you get arrested again,” he rushed out. “Do you need bail money? How much is it?”

Bruce could feel the eyes of the rest of the board members on him. They were all listening, even though he was _trying_ to be quiet.

_“No, no – why is that your first thought?”_

Bruce just kept silent, and Jason sighed.

_“I didn’t get arrested. It’s… almost worse.”_

“Worse?” Bruce repeats, his voice incredulous. A board member coughs.

 _“…I accidentally got space-married.”_ Jason said all at once, and Bruce sighed.

“You got _married_?” He turned to the rest of the board members, who were _finally_ interested in what he’s saying. Where was that interest when he was talking about the actual company? “I have to... go outside for a bit.”

Once he had closed the door, he put the phone back up to his ear and hissed into it, “ _Explain_.”

“Well, it all started when Kori decided she wanted to get shit-faced off of alien alcohol.”

Bruce wasn’t even a sentence into the story and he already wanted to pretend he’d never picked up the phone.

 

* * *

 

Jason and Roy looked over at Kori, who was making her way through a neon green liquid that must be the alien alcohol she had been talking about.

So far it didn’t seem to be having much effect, but she was a lot gigglier than usual.

“Are we sure this is a good idea?” Jason finally asked, and Roy shrugged.

“Probably not.” Then he smirked, before grabbing the bottle and filling two shot glasses. “I’ll do it if you do it.”

 

* * *

 

“Please tell me you didn’t do it,” Bruce groaned into his hands. This was _not_ how he wanted the first marriage in his family to go.

Jason was silent for a few seconds. “…I did it.”

 

* * *

 

Jason and Roy looked at each other, the shot glasses in their hands.

“Three, two, one…” Then they both downed the neon liquid.

 

* * *

 

“After that, it’s all a bit fuzzy. My first clear memory is from about… two days later?”

 _“Jason_ , why are you doing this to me?”

 

* * *

 

Jason’s head was killing him. Next to him, Roy was groaning, which only made it worse. He forced himself to move his hand before slapping it on top of Roy’s mouth, whispering a “Shh.”

Roy shrugged his hand off, before whispering, “I am never going near any liquid that shade of neon green again.”

“Same.”

With that Kori opened the door and turned on the light. Together both Roy and Jason covered their eyes, groaning.

“You need to drink water.” She put two glasses next to them, before clearing her throat. “Now, I believe you should… check your arms.”

Jason cracked his eyes open to glance at his wrist, before he stilled. “Kori,” he forced out, “Why do I have a tattoo?”

The tattoo itself was quite pretty. It had three lines in the middle of it, the patterns around it changing as he looked at them.

Kori stifled a laugh. “While drunk, the three of us may have gotten married.”

Jason sighed, closing his eyes again. “My family’s gonna kill me.”

“You’ll be _fine._ I’m the one who has to tell Oliver.”

“Do you want to tell Dick that I accidentally married one of his best friends and his ex-girlfriend?”

“…Point.”

 

* * *

 

“Let me get this straight,” Bruce finally sighed. Luckily for him, Jason seemed to sense that it wasn’t the time to make a pun about his sexuality. Bruce wasn’t sure if he could handle that.

“You went to space, specifically because Kori wanted to get _drunk_ ,” he started.

“Yeah.”

“Then you and Roy thought it would be a _great_ idea to drink the neon green alien alcohol _that was getting her drunk_.”

“Yep.”

“And you didn’t wake up until two days later when you found out you _got married_.”

“That’s about it.”

“You got married to someone associated with _Oliver Queen_.”

“Uh huh.”

 

* * *

 

Inside, most of the board members were listening with an ear to the door. _Finally_ , something interesting.

There were a few of the older members who had refused, and were still sitting at the table. They didn’t hear any of the actual story, but they still heard what Bruce yelled after.

“I _refuse_ to see Oliver Queen every holiday and family get-together!”

By now they were all stifling laughter.

“Roy Harper! Roy Harper. What next, you get space-married to Kyle? Bring Hal Jordan over as well?”

There was a pause, where they all strained their ears. It turned out they didn’t have to though, when a second later…

“ _What do you mean_ ‘Well actually’?”

There was no stifling the laughter now, especially not when before the person on the other line could talk, they heard him rush out, “I don’t even want to know. Don’t let Jordan or Queen anywhere near me and we’re fine.”

A second later he walked back into the board room with a red face, and glared at all of them, as if daring them to say something.

“Where were we?”

**Author's Note:**

> :)
> 
> [main tumblr](http://wwwlw.tumblr.com/), [batfam side acc](http://bisexual-jason-todds.tumblr.com/)

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [[podfic] happy couple(s)](https://archiveofourown.org/works/13323837) by [therebaeka](https://archiveofourown.org/users/therebaeka/pseuds/therebaeka)




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